Thursday, April 4

Guidelines for Wearing Your Feelings On Your Chest

graphic tees, graphic tops, Wildfox, trends, Nordstrom, top shop, Topshop, trends, peace love world,

Someone somewhere said that the way one dresses says a lot about a person ... and that was well before every contemporary designer decided to add graphic phrases to once acceptably plain tops. While these phrases can be a fantastic way to take your average tank to the next level, not all phrase tops are created equal. Think before you buy.

Don't buy it if you don't understand it. 

During a recent Topshop trip, I was drawn to a casual-cute white pullover with a non-English phrase. I happen not to speak whatever language is printed on the top (Italian?) and don't know what it says, but the small print "your place or mine" under the foreign phrase was hint enough. I decided a long time ago that I'm not a walking billboard for sex, so despite the initial attraction, I had to end my relationship with the sweater before things got too serious. There are a ton of cute tops on the market printed in a foreign language. Make sure you know what the top says. If you don't know, be sure to Google Translate it on your phone.

Don't buy it if you don't mean it.

I reluctantly opted out of purchasing a flattering jacket from the WILDFOX Running Sucks line because, well, I don't think running sucks. I actually love running. I'd also look like a genius sprinting across the street wearing "running sucks" top. People would definitely take me seriously. More importantly, I'd take myself seriously.

Don't over share.

As amusing as the mall cart "I pooped today" shirt is, you would never buy it. While I'm sure you'd be ecstatic that your bowels are properly functioning, if you're the classy human that I've imagined you to be, you wouldn't feel compelled to share these intimate life details with friends, family, or innocent passerby. A similar approach must be taken with love phrase tees. A woman wouldn't go around telling everyone she passes the intimate details of her love life, so she shouldn't wear a shirt that does the talking for her. Also wearing love related statement tops can potentially make a woman come off as dramatic or pathetic. If it's personal, keep it personal.

Don't forget, a picture is worth a thousand words.

For reasons I cannot understand, it has been a trend for a little over a year now to wear tops and dresses with the main focus on boobs... and I'm not talking subtly accentuating a woman's natural curves, here. I mean mesh dresses with two opaque hand cutouts over your upper-most private parts or a plain tank top with two seashells that denote the exact location of your breast. If you wear something like this, just know that you have a sign across your chest that says, "Come hither perverts. My boobs are right here. Cat calls welcome."

What is the most ridiculous phrase or graphic top you've seen? Comment below and let me know!

While you're at it, follow me on BlogLovin' for more fun tips, tricks & tidbits.

xx Lauren

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